Me, Myself & I..

Death..
Something we all have to deal with and live with.

*sigh*

Yesterday was the first day I came out from school alone.
Iunno what went into my mind but I just decided to go and not wait up for my friends after our last period.
I learned that It’s not that miserable But I only plan to do it once. I know it’s good to be alone sometimes but I’ve always been with my friends. It’s just the way things are.

I met a couple of classmates along the way and they asked me why I was alone.
I didn’t say anything and I just smiled.
What is there left to say?
All I know is that I felt something while I was on my own.
I felt peace..

Finally.

*sigh*

I’m going to be a sophomore this coming June and I’d like to say I’ve changed a lot since I started nursing School.

Last June I learned how to ride a jeepney!
Yeeeeeesssssssss! Public transportation in Cebu is not that bad at all.lol
The only bad thing is the pollution and the freakin’ smoke. *cough cough* hehe
I’m pretty proud of myself for learning to commute.
I remember the first day of class when my mom had to ride a jeepney with me in order for me to learn how to do it and dad was in the car following behind us. It was sweet.hehe

I also had a lot new friends and my social skillz sort of improved.lolz
The reason I love school is that a lot of people love me there too.
It’s like my second home.haha

It feels good when you walk around and you know a lot of people and you exchange greetings with them.
Its not about being famous.. It’s about having friends and enjoying it.

I can’t really remember a time when i never had someone to talk to in school even on exams.lol
There’s always someone there for me and its good. Really good.

Anyway I learned to finally “STUDY ” too haha
Well sure I’ read my notes before exams way back in grade school and high school but this time is deifferent cuz I really “STUDY” and it paid off since my grades turned out ok.hehe

mmm.. When the semester starts again it would be a bit sad since a couple of my friends dropped out or moved to another place:(

the girl I’ve been mostly hanging out during the first semester stopped goin’ to school.
We did a lot of things together. We always ate together in the cafeteria and talked about a lot of stuff that was fun and I miss her a lot:(

Kuya Tope Transfered to another school:( Makes me sad since I’m used to seeing him in school already.hehe
He pinches my cheek everytime he sees me and now nobody is going to do it becuz he won’t be there anymore.
I’m used to someone pinching my cheek already.lol
I made him try to eat seaweed once and he never liked it.haha
He’s such a good friend. He bought me a chocolate rose last valentines day:( I miss him a lot

Hannah transferred to Banilad. She’s the only classmate i have who lives nearest to my place. We used to go home together during the first semester. I’m going to miss her:(

Jennelyn told me she’s going to go back to Cagayan and she’s the only classmate i have that lives in Cagayan too.
We’re always the ones trying to bully up Naomi and speaking of Naomi.. I hated her.. We Bullied her a lot but then she stopped going to school and its sort of lonely cuz we don’t have someone to bully around with anymore.lol whatever

Dominic moved to another section:( He’s my seatmate and I’ll miss him. hehe
I still haven’t forgiven him though for suddenly biting my arm(lol) but he made up by massaging my hands.hehe
He’s a funny guy. Never fails to make me smile:)

Von, Allain, Christian, Papas, Reynell, Nicolas, Dominic, Jun Rey, and all the boys of BSN 1D!!!!!!
I’ll surely miss you all.. Good times.hehe

They were the best guy friends I ever had:( I’m going to miss them a lot.. A whole lot:T *sniff sniff*

Seems like the list will be endless if I write all the people I’m going to miss..

I can’t do anything about it anymore. I have to move on..

Whatever happens.. Happens! hehe

“Aza Aza Fighting!!!!!!”

I’m just bored
Its 3:21 am already and i ought to sleep right now but I ain’t tired yet.
It’s been days since I changed my sleeping pattern.
Sleep during the day and stay awake at night.

Been thinking about a lot of stuff actually and the more I think about it, The more It gets complicated so I try not to mind it anymore but I can’t! I have a brain and I’m suppose to use it to think.lol whatever

What I’m talking about now may just be rubbish but like i said, “I’m just bored”

So anyway, I really really miss school a lot.
This summer break is driving me nuts.
I just wanna be busy again:(

I like to be busy becuz It’s the only way I can set aside the things I don’t want to remember and don’t want to think about.
The things about me..

I can hardly think of it anymore when the demands of Nursing School calls for more urgency than the voice of my heart.
Its pretty confusing so lol whatever.

It’s sad when you care for someone but your fighting the urge to keep that person becuz you care for them so much and you know that theres a better life out there for them. A life where in you’re not included..
So you set them free and then you keep on waiting for what comes next.
Why does life require a lot of waiting? I hate to wait but I always end up to be the one waiting in the long run:(

Life is so Ironic..

You want something you can’t have.

“And that’s the shit right there..”

This year is the worst year of my life!!!!!!!!!! Next year is gonna be a lot better becuz I intend to make it so and it shall be done..lolz

So now Im back.. gosh.. Ya’ll should try being in love sometime cuz its nice:) feels good:) anyway,I still do miss a lot of people:( those who have hurt me and those Ive hurt.. and again.. Forgive me for bein’ emo cuz this is just a year-end special.lol.. Its 4 am already and Im still awake!!haha.. Im still thinkin’.. Reminiscing.. ya know.. The thing they call “memories”.. Its weird that i always forget the good ones and remember the bad ones instead:( ya right.. Im still a teen ager but i think like an oldie sometimes already and i hate it.. I wanna enjoy my life:) I miss Joy.. My best friend ever:) U can’t judge me guys.. We all went through this when we felt like theres one friend whose so important and u wanna be with that friend forever.. Well Unfortunately for me, Shes not here and Im not there where she is:( I wanna start all over again and this time I wanna do it right.. I guess I just had to wait for new year for it to begin cuz like.. I just feel its the right time..haha!! Those who really know me obviously had an idea that last year was the worst year of my life.. I was a mess.. I broke myself and this year.. Im getting the pieces back again and next year.. I dunno.. nobody does actually.hehe.. I just hope I wont mess everything up again.. I wanna learn all my lessons.. Well, what did I learn this year huh? uhh.. “what u don’t know won’t hurt you”, “don’t give up cuz u never know what’s gonna come”, “It’s never coming back so u have to move on”, “don’t want something u can’t have”, “It starts and ends with a choice”, “things will be better soon” and “To forgive is to do yourself a favor” are few of the lessons i learned.. most of ‘em I had to learn painfully i guess:( I thank time so much for changing a lot of things.. Hopefully I won’t have this dark shadow of my past hangin’ over me again when I finally get to face it:) My Pride always gets in the way but Thats all I have that no one can take away from me.. not time nor destiny can take it.. But its silly.. Its whats driving me and them away so i gotta get rid of it.. And i will:) And yeah.. I gotta thank kenneth for leaving me cuz if he didn’t.. my life would be miserable right now and I wouldn’t be able to meet the person whom I deserve:) I give kudos to him for teaching me all the hard lessons.lol! Im so thankful for this life.. It may not be perfect but there are people who loves me that always makes it worthwhile:) Its 5 am already and I think I have to go now becuz so much has been said already..

And now Im done greeting all the people and giving them testiz so like I feel alone again.. I just wanna thank Shaddy and Henry Benjamin for keeping me company and talking to me even for just a while cuz i had to do sumthin’ but I appreciate it:) It feels nice when u haven’t seen that person for years and then one day u talk to ‘em and it sounds like It was just yesterday.lol.. The warmth is still there:) Oh my gosh Im so emo..lolz.. well its 3:38 am and im still awake so its cool and not cool at the same time.hehe.. Bamboo is keepin’ me company right now.. actually its been 2 hours since i played this song over and over again.. Just can’t help it.. If u don’t like emo then im warning u to not read this becuz seconds from now I’ll turn emo but don’t worry.. Im not really that type.. hehe.. This is just exclusive cuz I feel so lonely and bamboo is killin’ me with their awesome music:)omg.. this is so unexpected.. My man is online.. i gotta go..ciao:)

So much has been said this year but Merry Christmas everyone and A happy new year!
Lets Embrace Change as it is.. Nuthin’ last forever aitte..
What Happened this year will remain in this year.. Time to move on with life:)
Just like what bamboo said, ” So Maybe tomorrow we’ll find A taste for the old days hard lessons We’ve left behind..” oh shoot.. Time to grow up again.. Im gonna miss my old self for sure:(
I dunnno what to say anymore.. Gotta bounce now.. Be happy everybody.. sayonara^_^

yeah.. I f**kin’ have no phone anymore..

“Why do bad things happen to good people?”… This question kept bothering my mind this morning when i woke up.. Yesterday, i received an sms from my bestfriend Joy and she told me something that i still find hard to believe even now.. Once again, Humanity has lost another good man. Pastor Lepiten.. A devoted son of God, A father to everyone, A good friend and a man who i think of is too kind to die right away. Life is unpredictable. But Pastor was a man of value and more than anything else, he showed us what living really means and how dying can be done happily when u have helped a lot of people.. I still remember those days when i lived in his house then he would call me in the evening to invite me to worship God even if he knew i would find an excuse to refuse him.. But still, he was able to bring me closer to God. He was a father to everyone and even if ive screwed a lot.. he was still there and he helped me with out even thinking that he would get into trouble if he did.. It’s sad that i still haven’t thanked him yet.. I even told him one day when he approached me and kenneth that he would be the pastor when i get married and Kenneth used to play basketball with him and he would joke a lot about how fast Pastor runs.. It’s just so unfair that he had to leave so soon when other people more worthy of death are still alive.. But maybe it is because of his good heart that God wanted him to be close to Him in heaven.. I really don’t know why bad things happen to good people But then, I am not saying its good to be bad. But whatever happens, I know that doing good will always be good because thats what Pastor showed us.. And though time may pass, His teachings will always stay in our hearts until we all get to see him again in heaven.. “WE ARE GONNA MISS YOU PASTOR.. THANK YOU SO MUCH AND HAPPY TRIP;)”